REALationships.

” A person isn’t who they are during the last conversation you had with them, they are who they are throughout the whole relationship” . ~ Rainer Maria Rilki ~

Everywhere, we hear the saying, ” How someone responds is not about YOU, it’s about THEM.” I don’t think this is always true. So often , people do push away others and just don’t want to check their own STUFF, so they shluff it off as the other persons deal.

What is the WHOLE relationship telling you? Has there been silence or distance for a lengthy bit of time? Do you feel ignored and invisible?

To everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under Heaven. You’ll know when a relationship is not what’s suppose to happen when there is NO response to your engagement with them and to expect something more is to set oneself up for suffering.

I’ve lived my life often trying TOO hard to be LOVE to everyone so that they FEEL loved by me, but refuse to engage me on any level that MEANS something. I’ve tried to scale their “walls” only to degrade my own self in the “fall” to dishonestyon the other side.
 

So…I love the 4 agreements because they cause ME to go a bit deeper and ask, Is this about THEM or ME?” If I’m honest with myself, it can be about either. Truth in the inward being is what I’m after in my own life.

Someone asked me this week about my lack of engagement with them and I’m so honored they took the time to do that and didn’t get caught up in their own ego. Their assumption wasn’t at all true and I appreciate that they respected me enough to approach me so that I could explain. I was being seemingly absent physically, but it had nothing to do with them.

 

On the other hand, when someone refuses to engage and states that clearly they don’t want engagement or interaction, it is HONORING them to accommodate their request. To WORSHIP means only ONE thing: “To ascribe WORTH to.” When we disengage because someone has asked us to, we are giving them WORTH, their request, WEIGHT. To continue trying to engage them is a lack of worth towards THEM and ourselves.

To love others means to listen to them and accept and honor their path in life. If I say, ” I’m done”, believe me. But if I say “I’m NOT done yet”, I’m telling you the truth. And if I or another is seemingly silent, ask me/them. I’ll tell you the truth, but I can’t say what they will do.

To be impeccable with one’s word means that we will be honest. There MAY be a time to take something personally but only by asking yourself, ” Have I done what I can do to mend this?” And then if you have, move on for BOTH your sakes. To make a further assumption makes you suffer and may be a false judgment of another. Always do your best to find out what’s going on and if the wall is still there, to try to break through it MIGHT be the right thing the FIRST time, but after that…..it’s called HARASSMENT.
To love another without fail doesn’t mean to chase them or rescue them. It meansto LOVE them and that includes loving yourself as well. Love listens and watches for truth to prevail in the relationship.

 

Have they asked you to continue in REALationship? Believe them when someone tells you something IF they are able to function in a healthy mental capacity.

” Let my people go”, is a very timely and appropriate statement in many situations. Accept the decision of others as an INVITATION to move on with YOUR life and be committed to JOY. Live out your OWN beliefs while respecting THEIRS.

Staying true to YOUR path and journey will help you to stay open to those who you are to meet along the way. You’ll know when to join inand when to walk on. Trust the way..

 

 

 

Teri Undreiner